Personal reflections / impact of Young Onset Parkinson's in life of a late-40's musician,husband,father and teacher. Metaphysical implications of disease, musings on life, music, poetry ...

Friday, October 12, 2007

Minefields & Timebombs

A Walk in NYC

Fall in love with a thousand strangers,
Knowing full well that the lure of anonymous connection is never to be made in flesh,
Shirk in fear of a thousand apparent felons,
Knowing that the whack of the leaden pipe, the cut of the blade or the leering bullet engraved with your name will never come…..
Until it does…

Hope my poem doesn't sound paranoid. Reminds me of a story: man goes to a shrink to prove his friends wrong.....they all say he's paranoid. Doc does battery of detailed psychological tests, calls him in: 'well, I have good news and bad news for you..."
"what's the good news?"
"you're not paranoid"....."Great! 'Knew it!....so, doc, whats the bad?"
"Checked around a bit.....everybody really is after you"

I find myself living amidst minefields and timebombs....
the first is of a more pleasent variety (2 and 6 year old daughters....
"mine!""mine!"mine!""mine!'MINE!!!! WAHHHHHHHHH! / you get the picture.

The other is of the PD variety. Still early enough in this process that many of the things that inevitably will happen haven't.

Timebomb: telling at work
Timebomb: telling wife's side of the family....
Timebomb: explaining this in a healthy way to my children....
Timebomb: further impact of process..

Things kept unexpressed develop more psychic gravitas....suppose the key is to accept the reality of changes coming....not to rush them....and not to fear...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

ModemDavid: I enjoy your comments on PD...although don't know if "enjoy" is the right word...just told my kids last night that I have Parkinson's and frankly I felt like shit for telling them. I was diagnosed almost a year ago. Anyway I love the Haiku thread..
Marge9