Personal reflections / impact of Young Onset Parkinson's in life of a late-40's musician,husband,father and teacher. Metaphysical implications of disease, musings on life, music, poetry ...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Swimming Upstream



Bucking a shitload of inertia I have finally begun to drag my sorry behind on a regular basis back to the gym – having now passed the half-century mark it’s finally dawned on me that I’m no longer a teenager and will need to keep as many of the original parts in servicable condition for a good while longer. So, decked out in sweatpants and muckalucks I sidle up to a well-worn elipitical training machene, punch up a 30 minute workout and start a-stepping.

Parkinson’s, being the full body futhermucker that it is, has taken the glide out of my stride, the pep out of my step, if the glove don’t fit you must aquit….(sorry, channeling Johnny Cochran there for a moment)…anyway, it’s done a number on my left side and doing the aerobics and weights has gotten tougher.

Inevitably, after 5 or 10 minutes on an aerobic machene I’ll hit a wall where my leg does not want to move, assymettrical large muscle fatigue – and yet, that is the precise moment that I must transcend and push beyond – I know that I can’t but I know that I must and today, as in most days, claim the small victory of making it to 30 minutes or more. I’m reminded of earlier martial arts training where the instructor would mercilessly push us to do endless repetative punches, kicks and blocks. Asked what was the point of pushing so far beyond the threshold of ability he said wisely “exactly the point…..once you go beyond the point where you can do it and can no longer ….yet you insist on continuing you access your goal which is: transcending the limitations of your strength and physical body to strengthen and access the unlimited potential of your will and intention.”

Clearly, in approaching my larger goals of maintaining the best possible functionality and level of health in the face of a systemic challenge, pushing beyond the normative level of my physical abilities is called for – and work and right action towards engaging my will and intention must be engaged. Swimming upstream, but still swimming ….good as it gets, for now.