Personal reflections / impact of Young Onset Parkinson's in life of a late-40's musician,husband,father and teacher. Metaphysical implications of disease, musings on life, music, poetry ...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Sparring with the Muse....


Before being hit with the reality of PD, as a keyboard musician I would from time to time amuse myself with the morose projection "what would happen if I somehow lost use of my hands" - one of the most terribilest thoughts there is to a working musician - and for the bulk of my teens through early 40's this is what I was -
now, confronting the reality of the gradual but insistent loss of the fine motor control integral to piano technique I find myself having to deal with this experience, not in a traumatic way, i.e. losing your hands in an unfortunate accident, but rather with a torturously slow attrition of those abilities which I've taken for granted for so long.

So it was this week that I approached two music events - the first, a rehearsal session with some top L.A. veteren musicians - these are the guys that play behind all the big name artists when passing through town, the musicals at the Pantages, the Hollywood Award Shows, all the way up to major film dates and all the way down to the monkeysuit jobs at Bar Mitzvahs, Weddings and corporate events of every ilk.

Walking into the session with my gimply left hand was a little disconcerting, and I started out without the quiet assumed conidence in my competence that always till recently accompanied me to the stage - I may not be able to dribble a basketball for shit, but I can always kick musical butt on the keys - and it was a bit of a hard start, but as we got into the second number and on, it was good to start to feel the left hand join in the dance, running on fumes maybe, but still running. From a playing perspective, I've always been more of an 'architectural' player than a virtuoso - i.e., more inclined, attuned to 'surgically' playing the right note, harmony or punctuation at the right time to support the music rather than playing rapid-fire improvisations - and, for where I am now and may be going, this approach serves me well.

I am always impressed playing with senior musicians - guys in their 60s to even into the 90s' - by how undiminished and strong their music making can be - and, looked forward to maybe one day joining the club of back-slapping wizened old geezers trading stories between numbers - I dunno, hard to say where I'll be in 10,20 years even without the PD issues - still, it felt good to get out there and swim with the fishes again for a bit.

Played a second, paying job, solo piano - this started out easier and ended harder.....by the third hour the control and manual dexterity in my left hand had almost completely departed - walking bass lines out of the question, barely able to drop my fingers on the keys save for dropping the entire arm .....got through it but with a considerable degree of difficultly at the end.

No great cathartic thought this time around.....just observing the dance.


Sunday, July 13, 2008

Haiku for Waterbugs


Wise old Waterbug!
Cowers from hot yellow river
Of first morning piss...





Authors note: a true haiku, a transient relationship captured in literary amber....and for the
Stalevo users among you, you know from bright yellow piss, though you shouldn't ought to know from....
anyway, was captivated by the mini-drama played out in the rim of the toilet between my 6 legged friend and his artful dodging of a toxic niagra falls.....