Macintosh Assasin....

Tasty Assasin

apple hides fatal intent

Now that swallowing has flown

Dang-neared choked on a bite of apple - out of nowhere, just drivin' my monkey-shit brown
Mitsubishi Galant de-lux through the late afternoon haze en-route to pickup my 6 year old
terrorist/daughter when - shazAMMM! 'Freakin bit of apple gets caught in a place at the back of my throat where, till that moment, I never even knew had a place! Nothing was obstructed in my breathing, thankfully, but try as I might, hacking aways like an allycat trying dislodge a wad of steel wool from its feline gullet couldn't get the offending piece of fruit to budge.

This went on for several hours before resolving, and caused me no small amount of stress....sort of like hiccuping uncorrected, or a hangnail but in your throat. More disturbing is what this relatively minor even could presage - when your automatic processes are no longer dependably automatic all bets are off. And even as a driver I 'sucked driving a manual.....

So, I now eye my every meal, each minor snack, with a new sense of respect and trepidation as
my eyes have been opened to see that within that rosy come-hither sheen of an organic Macintosh may lie my ticket to the next world, on, that an innocent-seeming bite of steak may come from a Holy Cow on assignment from the holy one, blessed be he, to be a bovine messenger of doom - no matter how you slice it, the future's just not what it used to be around here.

New Forms of Deep Brain Stimulation....

Played handball today with my six-year old - felt really good and triggered some 'thinking-

At first, I was amazed at how much my body remembered - spent a good part of my teenage years playing handball growing up in the Bronx - and it all came back. First, the pain....hurts like a son-of-a-bitch, at least at first. I used to play so hard that my hand would swell to the size of a plump grapefruit - and then I'd go and try to make music at the keyboard. Switched by my early 20s to a raquet, which insulated me from the pain....'kinda stopped playing all together by 40.

But playing today, and feeling the pain -and exhilaration to see that even my gimpy left arm still knew in some deep place how to return a ball - watching my daughter run this way and that to whack the ball - all the pain of PD faded and I saw myself back in the Bronx, not much older than my little girl trying unsuccessfully but happily to return the effortless volleys shot by my Uncles Joe and Uncle Izzy, the pickle maven (ran "United Pickle Co".,or so he said...probably was some front for the Mob, looking back)...and, if but for a moment, it was all OK.

So, seems I have stumbled upon an organic form of Deep Brain Stimulation -
buried memories triggered by the whack of an errant tennis ball - 'gots to beat the kind where they pop electrodes into your head and turn up the juice in your cranial toaster-oven.

Parkinson's strips away the insulation of any happy plans you may have - think I'll start playing again....without the racket. Feels right.

Strange Attractors

Gin a body meet a body Comin thro' the rye,
Gin a body kiss a body, Need a body cry?


When like meets like an attraction, a visceral magnetism seems to operate to pull one towards the other. Kabbalistic lore posits that we were all once part of the primordial body of Adam Kadmon, the initial human containing all the souls of every human form ever to manifest. And when you feel an unexplainable attraction to a stranger its probably because in your primordial state of creation you were both part of the same organ ... maybe the primordial ear, or hand or eye (....now we can better understand where assholes comes from .....:)

As for my story, I've noticed a strange - non-sexual, but compelling -- attraction towards another teacher who I can clearly see has a Parkinson's condition (unilateral tremor, stiff arm, etc....all the markers I know too well) - though she has never come forward and revealed this to the faculty or students (...nor, have I).

So when I run into her the best I can describe it is as a meeting between the PD consciousness in me and the PD consciousness in her - its as if 'it' recognizes a nearby manifestation of the same 'morphic field' that it inhabits. Strange stuff, strange attraction. Go figure....